How you live your life and not the life of others

Updated: Sep 1, 2019

If two people don’t know what they want, a third rejoices – and you fall by the wayside. Maybe you know this situation? When there is an underlying grumble, that doesn’t want to go away. An emotion you cannot really describe. For which we can blame either our limbic system or the fact that so many of us lost contact to our authentic self and our basic trust. But why does it happen that the head wins and the heart is being ignored? Is it a generational issue that only hits the baby boomers and the Generation X, or are millennials also concerned, only with different content? Are women taking care of self-consciousness more than men? Or is this another thinking pattern? Lots and lots of questions. But Stop!

Don‘t question, not the others and especially not yourself.

You could get answers providing the fact that you should change your life. For the better. To a life that you want to live and not one which others want you to live. But how do you identify the difference between your own chosen beliefs and those that were imprinted by others? By the way, there are a lot of dogmas which we talk ourselves into. Very confusing. How can you get clarity? Maybe the below ideas help – at least they worked for me.

Raise your consciousness. Ask for the core.

Get to know and also feel your true authentic personality. Charles Darwin said: „Everything which is against nature will not survive.” Sometimes also against human nature. Therefore, if you act against your core personality again and again, your life will crash. And you can imagine how this will end. So: How good do you know yourself? Which values guide your life? Which situations make you feel in balance, and where does the grumble come up again and you decide against it? Start with creating a full consciousness for yourself. Which doesn’t happen over night. It is like life in general – everything is a process and some things just need time.

Get to know your false beliefs. Which separate your life from you.

This can sometimes be very exhausting and challenging. But it’s worth it. I speak from experience. I started my own journey years ago by questioning myself. In particular, I questioned my belief system to uncover my core personality. It was just an indescribably feeling to look in the mirror and say: “Nice to meet you. Finally, you are here.”

If you now feel like having an authentic image of yourself, you can start examining your beliefs and dogmas with the following questions:

What do I believe about myself? I believe, …

1.    I am …

2.    what counts for me is …

3.    for me it is important …

6.    I can …

7.    I‘m allowed to …

8.    I have to…

What do I believe about others? I believe, …

1.    others want to …

2.    others like to …

4.    others focus on …

And if you still keep going, ask yourself:

Where do you know this dogma from? Who else holds this dogma? When is it valid? Always or only sometimes?Where did you manage to think something else?

I already said this might take a while … :-)

I’m allowed to, I can, I want to. I need to do – nothing. The discovery of your authentic personality and its consequences.

By creating a higher consciousness and by letting go of my beliefs, my life changed a lot. Turning 40, I started studying again. As Business Coach, I work and live based on my own highest values and purpose every day. I am a lot clearer (and faster) in making decisions, I know my mental and thus emotional trigger points and perceive life as a never-ending process. I am convinced that I am responsible how I live my life. Except when fate knocks me down and I fall to the ground – but also then it is my decision if I get up again. This realisation is fundamental for my work, and above all for myself.

Self-determined and free thinking and acting. Heart – and not Head – first, feels so much better and you will not want to go back again. Try it out.

Text by Nadine Pötz (Coach at FRAUPÖTZ)

Preview Image by Marc Schaefer via Unsplash

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