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How To Deal With Jealousy

Updated: Jun 21, 2019

You know this irritable feeling when someone has something that you want. It finds its way into relationships, friendships or at work. It might be that a attractive woman enters the room, all eyes on her, and you think: Damn, why do I not look like this? It might be the salary raise of the colleague, the new car of your neighbour or any other mind-crushing negative outburst when you have this urgent need to own what's in other people's possession. A feeling which is slowly building up and not really welcome: jealousy.

This twisting feeling in the stomach? Ah, jealousy. You again.

Some of us experience it more, others less. Jealousy. Personally I used to have a hard time with jealousy, especially when it was about the professional achievements of someone else. But instead of feeling inferior, I changed my entire mindset and see their success as a positive motivator for my personal pathway.

People can be jealous for various reasons. But why are we even jealous? How is it possible that some tend to control this negative feeling better than others? Well, a study shows that jealousy lays in our genes. So, we cannot entirely control it. A lot has to do with feeling insecure or former negative experiences. Also, there are different forms of jealousy ranging from romantic jealousy within a relationship to the one defined by competition or the property of someone else.

Now, how to deal with your jealousy.

First of all, what are the real facts why you're jealous in the first place? When talking about jealousy between women, is it because you're scared that this other girl might take something away from you? A partner for example? Step back and understand that we're talking about your personal emotion, something which isn't the fault of another person. By projecting your insecurity over to someone else, you do nothing else than harm. To others and to yourself.

Jealousy comes up with insecurities and fears, and it's okay to feel them. But have you considered that a) you can accomplish whatever the other person does b) the person you're envying isn't perfect either and c) that it's crucial to focus all the amazing parts about yourself in order to feel more grounded and confident? Let me tell you more on how to deal with your jealousy:

#1 Love yourself